NOSTALGIA ain’t what it used to be. I love that phrase – and wonder how old it is?

It springs to mind on the collective zimmer frame of life as we have various half century anniversaries currently thrust upon us.

The Inferno this week is full of unabashed nostalgia.

As the Likely Lads from TV remind us in their theme music “the only thing to look forward to is the past.’’ Yesterday, their Scouse counterparts - The Liver Birds - flew back for a one-off curtain-raiser at the Epstein Theatre for a world premiere in September.

Carla Lane gave it her blessing before she died. But it was one Likely Lads episode that remains a classic called “No Hiding Place” back in 1973.

Terry and Bob take on a bet that they can avoid hearing the score of an England game before the highlights were screened.

I have done it myself avoiding the telly and newspapers for certain Match of the Days. I might adopt this tactic for this year’s general election result.

Last time I was ready for a long haul to watch the Cameron vs Milliband lightweight contest.

I went to bed early after hearing at 10pm the exit polls had declared the Conservatives had won it – game over. I wanted a clean fight to the bitter end, some real drama.

I am going to try and avoid every election night report. I want to find out on Friday morning whether we voted exit stage right or left After all, it’s personal; the next Government will be in power till 2022 - when I become a pensioner.

Jeremy Paxman didn’t help us decide on Monday with his over-powering, impatient Basil Fawlty-style interviewing technique with the PM and Leader of the Opposition.

It was a 50/50 draw. The May poll is wavering, while Corbyn is gaining momentum...

One thing is certain about this political premiership challenge - we won’t be going into Europe.

INSPIRATONAL, passionate Bill Shankly once said: “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude - I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.’’

Now, coming from Merseyside, I know the beautiful game plays a massive part in bringing people together - showing the unifying power of soccer on both sides of the River.

But I feel Sir Alex Ferguson has gone a tad overboard in his praise of fellow Scot Jock Stein’s achievement in winning the European Cup 50 years ago.

Granted, Celtic certainly paved the way for other clubs - they did it first.

Yet Fergie recently told soccer writer Hugh Macdonald that he believed it was far more all empowering than that. He enthused: “This is what makes him unique.

“It is what Alexander Fleming did when he discovered penicillin in a wee laboratory.

“It is what Alan Turing did when cracking the Enigma Code.” Really?

SPECIAL K – that was a name I once heard had been bestowed upon a man from the Blue side of Merseyside.

Bill Kenwright CBE is celebrating a 50th anniversary. Five decades in showbiz from pop singer to Coronation Street star and theatre impresario Add to that his dedication to Everton FC.

Now the theatrical tables have been turned on Bill who keeps actors across the country in work from the West End to Merseyside.

The stars such as Elaine Paige, Tommy Steele and Marti Pellow sang his praises at a London Palladium gala earlier this month to be broadcast this Friday on Radio 2.

What next...arise Sir Bill? IT was 50 years ago for me when Sgt Pepper came along and changed my outlook on life.

It was the first album I ever bought with my pocket money. Two pounds introduced me to the magic and optimism of The Beatles.

I had waited ages – my very own vinyl countdown.

My brother had a reel-to-reel tape machine and bought his copy with his wages from Cammell Laird.

I can still see mum smiling and singing along as she heard: “When I’m Sixty-Four” as she did the ironing.

And that nostalgic memory lane moment remains special with me along with one significant other experience.

I was lucky to interview producer Sir George Martin when he wrote a book about the making of the mould-breaking LP.

We chatted in the very Studio 2 where they made history.

And he said to me with a wink: “you are sitting in the very spot John sang “A Day In The Life.” I still get shivers thinking about it now.

But while we celebrate Pepper it is comforting to know next year the champers will come out again for 50 years of the “White Album.”

Then a year later Let it Be and the split. Roll up, roll up...the magical history story never ends.

ANYONE for tennis? Wirral’s Paul Askew was a runner-up in the North West heat of the BBC’s Great British Menu (judges, you can’t be serious).

For one of his delicious dishes, tennis fan Paul served up a Lottie Dot culinary celebration. Bebington-born Lottie was a sporting all-rounder.

She won the first of her FIVE ladies singles championships - 130 years ago this summer.

Paul’s tasty idea got me stirred up – how about a Wirral-based three-course menu for special occasions.

For starters there could be Paul Hollywood Crabby Cakes (hard on the outside and soft in the middle): main dish - Ian Botham Beefy Stew and for dessert, Sam Quek’s Sticky Hockey Pudding.