Send us news by text, start your message Globe News and your send photos and videos to 80360
Wirral's top-ten Horror Highways are driving us round the bend!
Updated 7:26pm Thursday 13th March 2014 in News
Welcome back, Horror Highways.
Each year, the Globe had a habit of compiling a light-hearted top-ten of Wirral's most frustrating roads and traffic junctions.
And now the list is back.
We've updated a few and reprised some fine classics.
See if you agree with us and if not, let us know.
Or even better, tell us about your top Horror Highways.
*** *** *** ***
NO 1 - Hoylake Road, Moreton
We have absolutely nothing against chip shops or sofa stores. Indeed, we have been known to sit on our own sofas while scoffing bags of chips.
But that doesn't mean we want to spend aching eons of time each morning and each evening sat in the car glaring darkly at the same said shops while waiting for the traffic to start moving through Moreton Cross.
For a council who happily removed the perfectly good and efficient roundabout at Arrowe Park, why can't it finally get rid of this one and Make. The. Darn. Traffic. Move?
NO 2 - Arrowe Park Junction
Since we're talking about Arrowe Park, let's get back to this monument to highways planning at its finest.
All hail Wirral's most obvious example of what can happen when planners quite clearly run out of useful things to do.
We're willing to bet the person responsible for this has never even driven a car - and probably moved here from Liverpool in a deliberate attempt to undermine our pleasant peninsula way of life.
NO 3 - A41 New Chester Road
In the United States, there are apparently advertisements for budding new rodeo riders advising them to hone their lurching skills by jumping on a plane, hiring a car, and then driving up and down the traffic light-laden mess that is the A41, stopping and starting so frequently that those all-important lower discs in the spine can get toughened up to prepare them for the comparatively easy task of riding a crazed bull.
NO 4 - Hamilton Square
Each weekday morning, thousands of vehicles stand idling at traffic lights around Price Street, Laird Street and Argyle Street, belching out their carbon footprints into the lungs of passing pedestrians while motorists sit brooding in their cars, wondering why they are stuck behind six empty buses.
Yet since the Square first made our list in 2007, there has been some progress. At least they've scrapped the bus lanes. Doh!
NO 5 - Argyle Street
Welcome to The Mystery That Is The Lights That Don't Work Properly.
Those of you who share the deep misfortune of having to try to navigate your way through Birkenhead will probably at one time or another found yourself wondering why it is that this set of lights only turns to green for enough time to allow a supersonic jet to pass through at Mach 2, before hurriedly switching themselves back to red again.
NO 6 - Mersey Tunnels
Tunnel entrances, both of them. Because what we all really want to do is spend our lives inhaling petrol fumes as one of the lanes is always closed "for maintenance."
Or you get there in a hurry and find most of the toll booths are closed. Funnily enough, that often seems to happen when Liverpool are playing at home. Could an Evertonian be in charge?
NO 7 - Millhouse Lane
Because it's about a metre too narrow to comfortably allow cars to pass on the inside, anyone taking a right hand turn from Hoylake Road into Millhouse Lane risks incurring the wrath of motorists stranded helplessly behind them, their knuckles white with repetitive tension and their minds alive with thoughts of ballistic missiles and cauldrons brimful with boiling oil.
NO 8 - Market St, Hoylake
"I know," they said. "Let's test the patience of the hapless residents of one of our seaside towns by ripping up the pavements, introducing bizarre on-road parking areas that have helpfully high kerbs apparently designed on purpose to burst tyres, narrow the driving area so there are constant jams throughout the day, and make it physically impossible to make a right hand turn towards the promenade without causing a tailback that stretches so far back that drivers leaving the M58 near Ormskirk shriek with congestion frustration, too."
NO 9 - Bidston bypass/Aldi traffic lights
A new addition to Horror Highways. Endless queues, traffic lights perpetually set at red. Frustration, depression. It was all so predictable. A modern classic.
NO 10 - St James, Birkenhead
Ah yes, the old favourite - and like a bad wine (or grumpy reporters), it gets worse with age.
Light-controlled filter lanes allow you to dreamily "filter" halfway across the junction then (with what we imagine to be a malevolent grin) they turn to red.
You're stuck in the middle blocking the path of equally puzzled/furious drivers coming in the opposite direction - no way forward, no way back.
The old roundabout worked perfectly well; yes, there'd be the odd queue building up at rush hour.
But the powers that be successfully managed to turn a small problem into a BIG problem.
Special Mention - And finally, how about a tremendous pat on the back for whoever thought turning off our street lights would be a good idea - and another for the councillors who agreed with them.
Having recently found the the cash to fit Wallasey Town Hall with a new £25,000 carpet and a splendid £800,000 staircase, they still insist it's absolutely essential to save money by plunging dangerous and busy thoroughfares into darkness.
Seems odd to us.
The Bidston to Moreton bypass is particularly treacherous, but the stretch from Saughall Massie to Three Lanes End - surrounded by pitch black countryside - is like driving with your eyes shut and a bag on your head.
*** *** *** ***
So there we are.
We all feel better now, having got that off our chests.
Do you agree with our list?
If you're so minded, you can leave your comment below...
Comments are closed on this article.