ORDERRR ... Orderrr.

It won't sound the same when John Bercow mothballs his Speaker's robe from October 31.

In a non-party political way, I will miss this outstanding orator who became the embodiment of the English language – a sub-titler for the bemused public at home and in the balcony.

He will be remembered for articulate, crystal clear clarity from the most famous chair in the country and gave backbenchers a voice.

His all party put-downs to pompous MPs were masterclasses in subtle, sit-down comedy. JB once finger-wagged cabinet minister Michael Gove with the wonderful quip: "You really are a rather over-excited individual.

"You need to write out 1,000 times 'I will behave myself at Prime Minister’s Questions.'"

Alas, the people I admire most in life - The Plain English Campaigners - will have their work cut out for the foreseeable future without Bercow's inspiring presence.

Our PM leads the way with his Johnson jingoisms.

He once illustrated his own muddled mission statement on Have I Got News For You in 2003 when he mumbled: "I could not fail to disagree with you less."

He has been using that in all negotiations ever since.

Now, while we cope with prorogation and other new words, we can enjoy a five-week breather from Brexit rhetoric.

We have the party political conferences to grate-crash.

And maybe Boris will arrive at Saturday's Last Night of the Proms flag-waving as he enters the Royal Albert Hall on a Zipline.

It's back to Parliament for the Queen's Speech on October 14 and another crunch EU summit three days later.

There won’t be a dry eye in our house when Bercow bows out – but I can't say the same for that other House on the Thames.

Not everyone will be sorry to see John Bercow departure (a real B-exit) yet in today's potpourri political world his achievements translate as a job well done and he leaves a lasting integrity of fighting gobbledegook.


TREES a jolly good fellow.

The short-list for Tree of the Year is a 1,000-year old woody wonder in Liverpool.

I have just twigged that it has a security system – its very own special branch.

Here in leafy Wirral now spruced up for the popular Heritage Days starting on Friday for a fortnight, we are no stranger to such celebritrees.

A famous Yew tree in Eastham Churchyard even made it in to the Guinness Book of Records.


HELLO, hello hello - what have we hear? On the Beat is 2,000 episodes old.

Broadcaster and author Spencer Leigh's music programme on BBC Radio Merseyside reaches a media milestone on Sunday.

The news of this admirable anniversary has actually solved a mystery for his wife Anne.

She has left a Facebook message declaring: "So that’s where he’s been all those Sat and Sunday nights?" 


GLOBAL fame at last.

It would be a massive boost to Birkenhead if its famous Park receives World Heritage Status.

Following last weekend’s successful Food and Drink Festival, three-pronged Liverpool concert headlined by the Lightning Seeds and a performance by the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra ... it's time to think even bigger.

Why not invite one of Birkenhead's famous sons, Elvis Costello, to stage a gig?

I hope the council use 2019 as a culture foundation stone and build on it – make 2020 the year of Home Grown Creatives, many of whom feel overlooked.

Why bring people in from outside the borough when all the talent you need is here waiting to be asked?


CRUISE sorry now?

According to a survey by Marella Cruises who actually have a 'smile psychotherapist' on board, we are smiling less.

They commissioned a new survey, detailing all the simple things that can brighten our stressed-out lives.

Hearing a baby laugh is at number eight in the top ten and 'a random act of kindness' tops the chart of free grin and tonics.

I can confirm that a 'no deal' Brexit was not on the list.


BUCKINGHAM Palace say that Prince Andrew, who has been linked with disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein, will not be using the services of a 'reputation management' expert or what I call a 'mud sticks' consultant.

That said, maybe the contact number of this modern day damage limitation service could be pinned to the House of Commons notice board with a discount for party bookings.

And finally ...

ONE wonders what Andrew's Mum is thinking with all the Brexit shenanigans.

Her majesty has had weekly meetings with fourteen PMs during her reign from Winston Churchill to the present postholder.

So does she have any favourites?

Sir Godfrey Agnew of the Privy Council said she doesn’t make fine distinctions between politicians of different parties.

At one such meeting of this royal advisory council, a senior politician was flustered when her own mobile phone rang loudly.

According to the book The Wit of Elizabeth 11, the Queen, cool as a crust-less cucumber sandwich, merely enquired: 'Oh dear, I hope it wasn't anybody important?" 

Peter Grant