WE asked 100 people 'which quiz show is ten years old this month?'

The answer is ... Pointless .. an inspiring ratings-winner where contestants score points by coming up with obscure answers.

An ideal format for politicians who are masters of this technique.

Prior to each recording for the BBC's top entertainment export, 100 ordinary people are given 100 seconds to take part in an on-line general knowledge survey controlled by a private company.

You won't find the Pointless researchers out on the streets with clipboards.

Millions each day enjoy watching members of the public from all walks of life win sums of money and the celebrity pairing shows that see the stars of stage, screen and sport earn cash for their chosen charities.

Now the time might be right for a political version - bring on Pointless Politicians.

There could be Boris Johnson and his number two - better known as advisor Dominic Cummings - standing at another kind of lectern fielding questions from Alexander Armstrong asking them what the people surveyed wanted from their Government.

Boris would answer Brexit - deal or no deal to every single question. And Dominic - despite no conferring - agrees.

Maybe a touring version could be adopted closer to home in our town halls, cue The Jam's That's Entertainment.

In Wirral, council leader Pat Hackett and metro Mayor Steve Rotheram taking on other politicians all trying to figure out just what Wirral residents want for their future and devolution.

Alas, Metro Mayor Steve Rotheram is on a three-month, six borough solo tour with his ambitious face-to-face road show.

Steve likes to meet people but there is also an on-line survey if you can't get out to see him in person.

Today, he is at the Cherry Tree Shopping Centre in Liscard.

Full of good intentions, I'm sure, but is it just rousing rhetoric?

Many people are getting weary of consultations where they give their point of view, only for it to be recorded, filed away and then nothing more is ever heard.

Launching his ambitious plan called 'LCR (Liverpool City Region) Listens' Steve is hoping to encourage 1.6 million people to have their say to create the strategic plan for the next 20 years.

Promoting the campaign on Roger Phillips' BBC phone-in show, one disillusioned caller dismissed the 'lend me your ears' campaign.

She said she was weary of complaining about her bus route being hi-jacked by re-routing.

The grandma has now given up. Her consistent pleas have fallen on deaf ears.

Like many voters she finds that such surveys whether in person or on-line are spread far too thin and that no matter how well-intended they are, ultimately, pointless.


LIGHTS out ... I was on my way to a Wirral railway station last Friday when it suddenly went dark.

I expected Globe columnist Tom Slemen to appear with notebook in hand as all manner of spooky thoughts went through my head.

The rail ticket office was in eerie darkness as the BR guard tried to explain to panic stricken commuters what had caused this real-life tale of the unexpected.

Was it the end of the world?

Had Trump lost the plot and pressed the button?

Was there a four-minute warning and - just as importantly - where was the nearest pub to have my last pre-Armageddon pint of Guinness?

Alas, the National Grid had found their sonic screwdriver. Electricity returned and life resumed where it had left off.

But for that brief period, looking around me I saw people turning into zombies staring at their mobile phones which had stopped functioning.

Social media had died.

Sadly, for so many people in today's gadget-saturated world, that really would have been the end of the world ...


ADVERSE weather has put the damper on many music festivals this year notably the surf-inspired Boardmaster event in Newquay.

As well as those holidaymakers upset by the scrapping of the Cornish summer highlight, spare a thought for the inconvenience suffered by the services businessman who ordered 200,000 toilet roles for the event.

A pain in the backside, indeed.

This surplus of toilet tissue could still be an ideal asset for the Cornish resort of ... Looe.


SIR Ken Dodd's legacy that 'love equals laughter' lives on.

I have a keepsake of the much-missed mirth maestro at my home - a tickling stick in a glass case that says 'in case of emergency - sadness or boredom - break glass.'

Ken loved that idea.

When I asked him how he would like to be remembered, he said: "Well, for a start, I'd like to be here!"

Ken's inspiration is very much alive.

Just ask comedian Roy 'Chubby' Brown, who recently attended one of Ken's Good Turns Society events where money is raised for local charities, courtesy of a meal and a variety show.

Roy, who was born Royston Vasey, was so impressed with the heart-warming occasion he now plans to start his own series of Doddy-styled fund-raising dos in Middlesbrough.

Tickling sticks all round.


AND finally ...

Wirral - one time home of wreckers and smugglers - will be awash with swashbucklers this weekend for New Brighton Pirate Fest.

To get you in the mood, here is a nautical and nice curtain-raiser quip: "Why did pirates bury their treasure18 inches underground ?

"Because 'booty is shin deep.'"

Arrr - it's the way I tell 'em.

Jolly Roger and out.

Peter Grant