THE gloves are off ... for the biggest series of bouts since the Rocky franchise reached film number eight.

Ladies and gentlemen now take your seats for 'the people versus politicians' heavyweight challenge.

I was planning to have a 'B' word-free Inferno - a holiday from Boris and Brexit, but now it seems our leader is 'Boxing clever'.

While Tony Blair named much-loved Diana ‘the People’s Princess’ - an inspired title conjured up by one-time PR guru and now politically-disillusioned Alistair Campbell - Boris wants to be the ‘People’s PM’ the invention of his scary campaign adviser Dominic Cummings.

When politicians eventually remember they are here to serve the voters they tend to punch above their weights but all we get are pre-election promises.

Our do-or-die Prime Minister has managed to find ‘new’ money from the back of the Downing Street sofa.

It’s a shot in the arm that the NHS will benefit with £1.8 billion, but we are all bemused where the cash is coming from?

We have endured austerity, been warned of a ‘no deal recession spin-off’ and been told that there’s no money in the kitty for a U-turn on the scandalous abolition of free TV licences for the over 75s.

Boris - with a majority of one - has thumped the table and told his hand-picked Cabinet team that: “what is said in the meeting room at Number 10 remains in the room.”

And how do we know? Because someone leaked it to a Sunday newspaper.

That’s one for the Department of Irony to investigate. So, the fight of the century is on ‘People V Politicians’. It has all the makings of a blockbuster movie. Robert de Niro, fresh from flogging bagels, would be idea as a ‘raging bull’-styled soothsayer Michael Heseltine.

It could be based on true stories from John Major’s ill-fated People’s Charter in 1991 and David Cameron’s bizarre Big Society in 2013.

Major’s legacy is a traffic cone hotline, but he did give the green light to the National Lottery. Cameron gave us a referendum - enough said. Boris now wants to be the champion of the people.

So, dear reader, let’s enjoy our summer break while we can as MPs in all corners train for an inevitable general election like Sylvester Stallone clones running around the streets and steps of Philadelphia. Cue: Eye of the Tiger ... seconds out.

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ONE old lady stopped by a Hamilton Square newspaper stand and sighed out loud at the headline: "Oh, I really loved him," referring to the passing of Joe Longthorne.

One star who worked with him 45 years ago was Stan Boardman who, fresh from playing Joe’s home town of Hull yesterday, told me: “I was playing to 20 people on stage in Scarborough on the same bill while his fans were in the bar waiting for him to perform.

"They would get up and walk to the stage while he was singing and place flowers at his feet.

"Every dressing room looked like Ness Gardens.”

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“HEY, I’m next ...” and “Excuse me, but I was here before you” are phrases we can all relate to when trying to getting “a round in” as someone frustratingly jumps the queue.

Now new technology aims to offer a fairer system in pubs across the country.

A trial is taking place in one London tavern where a face scanner has been installed.

A webcam is connected to the internet and will tell staff who to serve and in the correct order.

This idea would certainly revolutionise the archaic bars system at our many festivals. I’ll drink to that.

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POTTY Python star John Cleese is currently selling the positive side of stem cell treatment - an expensive way of staying young.

Sadly, in recent years, he has become TV’s embarrassing pub bore on chat shows and twittering angrily away about the state of the UK.

Mr C, now 79, has become a parody of some of the pompous eccentrics he would often play - characters who happily still live on as Monty Python celebrates its 50th birthday.

Cleese is now back on our TV screens in the woefully unfunny BBC sitcom Hold the Sunset.

It was over ambitious and uninspired by BBC commissioners to order a second batch of this dire comedy even before the universally panned first series went out.

Maybe he should try and find someone who can re-generate his comedy cells.

There's just no hope for dead parrots.

His once funny bones are now past creaking.

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HOOKED!

THIS Christmas there will be an outbreak of Peter Pans.

The Liverpool Empire has Merseyside stars Tony Maudsley of Benidorm and Harry Potter fame and the sparkling comic legend John Evans.

Over at Chester Storyhouse from December 6, they present Peter Pan.

And what is the comedy play that directly follows it in January? Peter Pan Goes Wrong ... the global hit which is definitely NOT a pantomime.

This is all very confusing.

Oh, no it isn't ... oh, yes it is.

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And finally ...

As his love of Washington wanes, former Man United and Everton player Mr Rooney is rumoured to be the target of Derby County as a player-coach.

One wag declared on social media that the footballer is vastly experienced for the job.

After all, he declared, Wayne has already inspired hundreds of derby games at Anfield and Goodison.

Result!

Peter Grant