CHING! That is the first sound you hear in Wizzard’s atmospheric hit single I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day – a cash register.

Writer Roy Wood told me that not everyone picked up on that when he first released it all those many platinum discs ago.

Since then Yuletide has been at the mercy of the merry advertising TV elves.

I grew up excited about the Christmas number ones in the Top of the Pops charts, now department stores dominate the small screens as they start their own ‘advert’ calendars.

The likes of John Lewis and M and S vie for tinsel till supremacy and along the way they have turned Christmas into a marketing campaign with all the the depth of reality TV.

I am lucky to have enjoyed the true simple sparkle of Christmas pasts. This week I was filled with child-like glee when I discovered a jigsaw actually featuring the Nativity.

It was a rarity and reminded me of Bart Simpson’s recent rant: “aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas - the birth of Santa?’’

This year Elton John has boosted his own record sales with the glorified pop promo courtesy of John Lewis.

Christmas came early for the rocket man. But where was the magic for the rest of us?

For me, the most adorable whimsical heart-tugger comes from Specsavers.

They have not lost sight of what Christmas means to children. They simply asked some primary school kids: who is Santa?

A refreshingly simple concept.

Refreshing after hearing about one politically correct group in Lincoln who urged kids to smash up chocolate figures of Santa because he didn’t reflect the spiritual meaning of the season

The Specsaver ads are uplifting – a welcome waft of innocence over cynicism.

One lad say with absolute certainty says: “I have seen Santa for real.”

And that one wide-eyed comment whisked me back fifty years to a little, duffle-coated boy tugging at his dad’s sleeve as he stood mesmerised by the sheer magic all around me at Blackler’s grotto.

I too had seen Santa for real.

GROTTY...

The late, great George Harrison used this man-made term in The Beatles film A Hard Day’s Night.

It is short for ‘grotesque’ an ideal description for some of the attractions where the gullible succumb to festive disappointments at the retail price of daylight robbery.

Each year I dread to see news reports seeing pictures of so called ‘winter wonderlands’ where families have been ripped off just like a cheap white velcro beard on a 16-year-old Santa in trainers.

People enticed by scenes of North Pole-styled fantasy destinations,

Over the years I have been underwhelmed and angry at such reviews of sub-standard scenes of Santa’s feeble workshops and dogs with stick-on antlers masquerading as reindeers.

Maybe councils across the country should send in the trades description officers to rate the good and the bad.

It is no laughing matter when families fork out a lot of hard earned money in these austerity times only to be greeted by imagination-free festive grot spots.

As Rudolph would say... Oh dear!

LOOKING behind me, I have nearly completed my own panto season run - reviewing many of the area’s festive offerings. I have a few more to do... Oh, yes I have.

While I love traditional pantos I do wish some aspects are updated and don’t rely on outmoded clichés.

It’s good to hear your own locality mentioned in despatches in a script adapted especially for local audiences creating a sense of belonging and pride in the community.

I enjoy clever, tongue-in-cheek ribbing, but I am never impressed by lazy, snide comments

At the Floral Pavilion’s Aladdin in New Brighton they rightly mention the new Mermaid Trail and popular Black Pearl tourist successes.

But they go and spoil it all with put-downs of Birkenhead. The poor place is consistently picked upon and stands little chance of answering back. Granted it has its problems but why gloat with ridicule?

It is reminiscent of the 80s when comedians down South would stereotype Liverpool with tales of stolen hubcaps.

By all means attack politicians and councillors. And Brexit is rightly fair game to poke fun at.

But please will panto writers come up with scripts that praise the likes of Leasowe and Bebington and not let them be the butt of jaded jokes.

And finally...

With 12 days and just one Inferno to go, I am full of Christmas presence (see what I did there?)

So, too, is Stephen Fry who does really have the ho ho ho down on the true meaning of the season.

He says with insight: “Christmas is a time for saying... that Christmas is a time for doing things that one should, frankly, be doing anyway

“Christmas is also time for considering people less fortunate than ourselves... oh, so July and August aren’t – is that it?

“Christmas is a time for forgiveness... so does that mean we should be beastly and vindictive for the rest of the year?’’

Hear hear. I bet he’s been to Specsavers...

Peter Grant