THE Inferno is one-year old today.

Having written newspaper columns and been broadcasting across the UK for 35 years, it is now great to regularly show what one disgruntled e-mailer called, my 'smug' face in a politically neutral column in an award-winning local newspaper.

Unlike some politicians, I haven't got two faces.

There are those people, of course, who don’t take kindly to any criticism.

One clearly-distressed reader, with questionable IQ, said these columns were "a weekly descent into madness".

Do you work for the council, by the way, I asked, after explaining that one particular column was a parody of Alice in Wonderland.

I haven't heard back.

Another anonymous correspondent deemed the Inferno "Bilge".

I do hope, whoever you are in your window-less bravado bunker, that you pass your exams in the Wirral Charm School.

Wirral-based comedian Stan Boardman is, however, a supporter of this paper's campaigning stance and in his role as a patron for Claire House, he graciously sent a birthday note.

"Carry on Granty’s Inferno.

"It's a welcome mix of humour, irony, satire and truth reported in an entertaining, tongue-in-cheek way.

"You are Batman and the readers of the Globe are collectively ‘Robin’ in pointing out injustice – locally and nationally."

And country music legend, Birkenhead’s Charlie Landsborough, sang the Inferno's praises, saying: "The column always makes me smile. I will be smiling with it for a long time to come."

**

THE advert writers used to say "let the train take the strain."

Well, now, in front of the word "train" put a big, capital S.

This week Wirral commuters have endured a long and wind-up road.

The beasts were back – the 'bus replacement service'.

Other local papers have followed the Wirral Globe’s rant a year ago in which we complained about this disorganised, dis-service to travellers.

When essential train work is carried out (granted it has to be done), the bus replacement service should be just that - a replacement for the train.

Yet, it seems some bus drivers think they are the cavalry and that they are doing us all a favour by turning up at all to get us to our destinations.

Wrong. It is a condition called T. T. A – Time-Table Amnesia.

Ask the rain-soaked pensioner I spoke to who waited 25 minutes in the rain at a bus stop with no information.

Ask the poor lad who could not get into work for 9am – getting told off no doubt when he finally arrived.

Sundays are no longer bank holidays they are working days so why are transport services reduced to half hourly?

On Sunday, the disruption meant that it was impossible to get to Liverpool for before 9 am. Yet so many people work, or need to travel.

Is Wirral the back of beyond?

The river is only a few miles wide, but it may as well be an ocean if you need to cross it on a Sunday.

**

FLICKING through a copy of the Wirral Globe from 1987 I saw an advert for Billy and Wally performing together.

Fast forward to now and the dynamic duo are playing New Brighton Pavilion on May 31.

Billy Butler is indeed one of the Merseyside area's living legends with stamina.

Who says so?

Not just the Inferno, but Mel C, ex-Spice Girl and now TV presenter.

I met Ms Chisholm at an awards dinner and this lovely Northern star told me she will never forgot her roots and that is where her ‘wireless hero’ now comes in.

Mel, 41, says that Billy, 73, is loyalty personified.

She added: "My mum used to be a go-go dancer for him in the clubs back in the sixties and now if ever I am home in Merseyside he interviews me."

I can reveal that Billy doesn’t even use Grecian 2000.

Happy Birthday from the Inferno ... to you.

Peter Grant