LET'S get quizzical …

One of my own unfulfilled ambitions is to take part in a telly quiz show.

The enormous waiting list for such TV quizzes is not puzzling...we all need escape.

Sadly, the application process is as off–putting as any Jobseeker's meeting with an ill-advised advisor. You have to fill in forms and have interviews with "verification" staff.

It makes me wonder what the selection process is for the Jeremy Kyle Show.

I frequently sit at home watching the crescendo of our daily quizzes. I picture myself standing there as a contestant.

I am not an Egghead and I would never make it onto University Challenge but watching Mastermind, I know I could handle that pressure, sitting in the black chair opposite John Humphrys.

"And so, Peter Grant, occupation - journalist, what is your specialist subject?" he asks, grim-faced.

"John, it's the significant social achievements of Wirral Borough Council."

After 90 seconds of grilling I have passed on every question.

Nil points.

Couldn't think of any, I sigh.

Then I thought about taking part in Pointless where Alexander Armstrong asks me what subject I would like to see come up?

I say: "Politicians who make a difference to ordinary people and their lives."

He looks at co-host, Richard Osman, who then later tells me that I scored the highest scores ever ... with all the wrong answers.

I didn’t know any outstanding politicians, I sigh again.

I realise now I am, like you, dear reader, already playing a dangerous game - a contestant in the biggest quiz show of them all. Who do we elect in may 2015 - and why?

Let's do our research with 92 days left.

Quiz them all - national and local - and see if we like their answers. And pray there will be no roll-over.

The keys to Number 10 should be the ultimate prize to someone who genuinely cares about fairness for all of us. Not just the survival of the fittest or richest.


SO here's the season of pontificating speeches and self-congratulatory gushing.

No, it's not PM's Questions – it's the Oscars.

I am now, however, predicting the winner for next year's awards already. A script work in progress is called War of The Words.

It is about a super power called (cleverly) Liverpool City Region Combined Authority (or 'people in suits sitting around the table insulting each other' for short).

The plot centres on the control of the Northwest fought by ego-led, bickering, self-serving politicians through social media, TV, radio and newspapers.

Emails, tweets, Facebook, Instagrams and letters to editors, show their obsessions - lashing at each other’s inboxes.

Film-goers will see many politicians texting each other to oblivion while reacting with vacuous leaflet-bombing.

There are some stunning battle scenes outside food banks and six Town Halls - including Wallasey.

The carpets and lifts in Wirral come under attack, but the coffee machine survives. Look out for thousands of extras - they are played and (unpaid) by you and me, who have a bigger part to play come May.


THE TV equivalent of the Oscars is The Emmys.

One actor who deserves an award is Mark Rylance, the star of BBC's Wolf Hall - an adaptation of the award-winning Hilary Mantel book of Tudor skulduggery.

He plays Thomas Cromwell who had integrity – he didn't claim for any boat taxi fares for his meetings at Hampton Court.

I interviewed Mr Rylance in 2007 when he brought his controversial show “I am Shakespeare” to Liverpool.

It debated whether or not Shakespeare wrote all of his works.

Mark played Frank - an internet nerd who conjures up ghosts from the Elizabethan era - or as we know them – the House of Lords.

I suggested he should send some of the actors from the play to a local pub called “The Shakespeare” in costume for a Falstaff -styled photo opportunity.

The idea was that the barman would throw them all out with the line “YOU’RE BARD.”

He loved it and forsooth it appeared and he enjoyed a sell out run.

Peter Grant