I AM all panto-ed out having reviewed four seasonal shows this year for the Wirral Globe (oh, yes I have).

Actually it's five.

The longest review is still going on and is called Jack and the Bean Counters - An All Party Panto.

It is set in the make-believe world of Wallasey Town Hall where Baron Hardup has to make cuts in the budget.

As he strolls along the plush carpets, he ponders how the council can make reductions in spending. So he decides on some audience participation and consults the villagers.

(Roars of laughter).

Jack, an apprentice who is paid buttons, is despatched to a food bank to get some beans to invest in his future.

Up on top of a huge beanstalk, a place in the clouds called Westminster, a giant called Pickles asks the townsfolk if they have thought about cutting the beanstalk down and leaving him alone to govern themselves.

There's plenty of other slapstick in this political panto. The Baron goes off with his job-seeking allowance to America to create a magical twin place called "Wirral, y’all."

Back in Wallasey there are ructions in the kitchen as a fight breaks out over the installation of a new George Looney coffee-dispenser.

Those who oppose Hardup sling mud at each other and get soaked - but then claim the cleaning bills on expenses.

Then after an ironic song by council spokesman, Wishee Washee, called Happy, the Barren tells everybody he has good news.

They await with baited breath for him to rub a local government lamp. He splutters as nothing appears but dry ice.

"There will be a new company set up to look at education partnerships in the future with a go ahead supremo at a salary of £90k.

"Oh and a new CEO for WBC will be here in April and he or she will be worth every penny at £175k and benefits."

Boos and hisses follow.

Then he says in true over-spending tradition, "let's throw a ball."

"Is this Aladdin-sane?" cries one heckler.

Councillors and politicians, come next May the Inferno has one piece of advice: read the review - it already warns "Look behind you". Isn't that right, boys and girls?

Grant’s TV Rant: My Christmas pressie wish list continues - this time looking at our dreary television schedules.

I don’t have a heavy Hart with the news that Miranda has announced there will be no more of her contrived sit-com.

I am also waiting for munchkin Michael McIntyre and whining Sara Millican to announce they are taking time off to write novels … please.

And I will down a few egg-nogs in 2015 to see the formation of a 'reality channel' where fans of this tiresome genre can find fodder like I’m a A Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here and Big Brother under one rancid roof.

Make Ant and Dec and second-rate clones Dik and Dom programme controllers.

Promote fresh talent – now that would be a great gift.

The American singer-songwriter Paul Williams who wrote Bugsy Malone and the Muppets music once said that 'every act of kindness' is a little bit of love we leave behind us.

A sentiment, not only for Christmas but for the whole year round.

Paul, who once made a rare visit to the UK to play in celebrity charity golf tournament in Wirral, would be pleased to know his message hit home.

I read with delight about a man who found a ten pound note in the street and bought five lottery tickets and left them in envelopes around his town hoping it would bring someone luck.

And a mysterious person number two who placed a few rubber ducks in nearby lakes and placed a fiver inside to be discovered by someone in need of a little cash.

Quackers?