Irony is lost on Wirral burglars

First published in Letters

I READ many letters in your columns from people who have had the misfortune to be burgled, mugged, robbed etc.

Invariably, their letters begin with "I would like to thank" or "I would like to congratulate" the perpetrators of these crimes, this annoys me because the irony is probably lost on the lowlife who do these things.

May I suggest that these letters should start as follows: " I would like to throttle/drown/set fire to".

Alan Moffat, Wallasey.

Comments (1)

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9:51am Thu 17 Jan 13

bickyboy says...

You're dead right, Mr Moffatt. Irony is far too sophisticated a concept for the sort of pondlife who can commit such heinous crimes.

Problem is that the alternatives you suggest are probably a little too potent for the average family newspaper.

How about, "I would love to offer said perpetrator an olive branch and a chance to explain his actions, over a cup of strychnine-enhanced Earl Grey"?
You're dead right, Mr Moffatt. Irony is far too sophisticated a concept for the sort of pondlife who can commit such heinous crimes. Problem is that the alternatives you suggest are probably a little too potent for the average family newspaper. How about, "I would love to offer said perpetrator an olive branch and a chance to explain his actions, over a cup of strychnine-enhanced Earl Grey"? bickyboy
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