THE Inferno is looking forward to the television event of the year – full of drama, intrigue, skulduggery, comedy, tragedy, winners and losers.

Bring on the party conferences this autumn.

The Labour leadership contest is already the great curtain-raiser.

Labour will have fireworks, the Tories will have in-fighting too, while the Lib-Dems dust themselves off ready to be a force again and the SNP will gloriously gloat.

During my time as a political correspondent I attended Union and Labour Party conferences and they were full of fractious fringe meetings and speeches straight out of the Churchill back-catalogue.

This year the Tory faithful – buoyant with its Commons majority – will rally round again but it won't stop Boris Johnson giving some carefully scripted, off-the-cuff performances.

Give him a lectern and he becomes a would-be rock star rapping policies without notes. This will be entertaining TV indeed.

But for me the big attraction this September will be Labour's conference and the leadership result.

People are talking seriously about laid-back, casually-dressed Jeremy as a future leader. Even former spin guru Alastair Campbell yesterday urged members to shun this MP’s bid. I have seen contenders Andy Burnham, Yvette Cooper and Liz Kendall in action and Jeremy is like a dark horse at the Grand National.

But do we know enough about him? One test is to eavesdrop on people talking about him.

In a Wirral hostelry I overheard a revealing discussion: "Of course Corbyn has a lot in common with George W Bush." 

I nearly choked on my cheese toastie, then this bar room Nick Robinson added: "Yeah, he was a teetotaller … just like Jeremy." Phew!

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MORE showbiz legends are now on the golden escalator to St Peter’s Gate. Following the loss of Val Doonican and Cilla Black, we now have the actor George Cole.

One of the characteristics of some celebrities is how different they are away from the cameras and stage (cue Benedict Cumberbatch).

In the non-austerity days, the BBC and ITV networks would push the boat out, literally, and have champagne "meet the press" get-togethers with their stars.

On one such occasion a boat was moored at the Thames where the household names of LWT came on board for a summer soiree.

The very private Frankie Howerd and Larry Grayson attended but said little.

I also met Nicholas Lyndhust (Rodders from Only Fools and Horses) who didn't want to talk, telling me to check out the cuttings archives instead.

There's nothing worse than an empty notebook for a freelancer relying on gossip to pay the rent.

So when I spotted George Cole, aka Arthur Daley from Minder, I thought I was onto "a nice little earner."

I went over and asked him what he disliked about the showbiz life.

Sporting a trilby, he sipped a scotch, puffed on a cigar, then turned to me and said: "People like you." 

So, did I actually interview Mr Daley or George Cole?

Now I will never know.

Some celebrities really do know how to deal with the media. One is cricket legend Sir Ian Botham.

I once had to get a few quotes from Sir Ian during one of his admirable charity walks across Britain. The only snag was I had to chat to him as he walked.

I couldn't keep up. But he did bowl me over, as he did the fans who had lined the streets to see him.

Ian, who hit his sixth decade last month, celebrated with a glass of wine which has been named after him. 60 not out for the Hero from Heswall.

Howzat for a real star?

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AND finally ... What a pity the Official Monster Raving Loony Party do not have a seat in the Commons.

They will meet in Blackpool in October and discuss why their 2015 manifesto failed despite having such policies as the following two: Half of the UK's grey squirrel to be painted red to increase the red squirrel population, and jobseekers will be made to stand two abreast to halve the dole queues.

Order!

Peter Grant