WIRRAL has its arts in the right place – or does it?

I recall when I wrote the first Granty's Inferno, more than a year ago, saying how I was looking forward to reading the borough's arts policy until, that is, I discovered that there wasn't one.

Now when I read council leader Cllr Phil Davies' admirable 20 pledges for 2020 I still can’t see an Arts Strategy anywhere.

I have looked at Phil’s colourful pie-charts in the Globe and see all manner of ambitious projects that, using his sign-off, set out to "bring about real change" – but no arts ... not in "business", "people" or "environment" plans.

There is one slice of Phil's pie that says "Leisure and cultural opportunities for all," so that must mean arts – or does it?

The Inferno investigations team asked local MPs if they knew anything about it. Their respective offices said they would "look into it."

Over the water, Liverpool has for years now successfully recognised how arts and culture can be a major economic and regenerative driving force.

Many things seem to be undersold and under-promoted, especially when it comes to saying to the rest of the North West region and the media "look at what Wirral is doing in addition to golf."

Councillor Davies, you have 20 pledges please make it 21 today and promise that arts won’t be just an afterthought.

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I LOVE nostalgia. I grew up with it. Yesterday I flicked through back copies of this paper.

One issue in particular brought a tear to my eye when I read a quote from this time last year by New Brighton regeneration councillor Pat Hackett about car parking fees in the area.

With all the gusto of Mrs Thatcher's memorable quote: "this lady’s not for turning" affable Pat declared: "The fact that parking is free makes New Brighton a big attraction.

"We don't want to scare people away just at a time when things are starting to pick up."

Somewhere along the road he has made a three-point turn and is now stuck in reverse.

Politicians should not be frightened to be honest with people. If you’re stuck between a Perch Rock and a hard place just say it, don’t wheel out politicians' retreat-speak.

People are getting angry.

The issue won’t go away – ask 3,000 of them.

A week-old petition opposing the Perch Rock car parking fee is currently gaining huge momentum.

At the time of going to press it contains 3,042 against this action.

A Facebook page called Brand New Brighton Rocks On has 1,400 likes.

You're in the driving seat, Pat and you’re going the wrong way.

As one passionate Wirral Globe reader wrote to me this week: "The future generation (with or without a bucket and spade) will thank you for it."

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MERSEYSIDE writer Lynda La Plante has created some of television’s most famous characters, most notably Widows and DCI Jane Tennison played by Helen Mirren.

I once shared a bottle of champers with Lynda at an awards ceremony where I presented her with an Arts trophy for her much-imitated Trial and Retribution series.

I asked her about her inspiration and she kept tight-lipped until now speaking before her lecture at a Crime Writers conference last week.

Lynda says her cockapoo Max (yes, you read it right) the dog is a real criminal.

"Max steals things from me, bras, hats and reading glasses and buries them in the garden."

Max is clearly the inspiration for Prime Suspect.

However, she would not confirm her next book is called Wuff Justice.

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AND finally...The Inferno’s ongoing campaign to stop television dumbing down continues.

This week sees the screening of Dogs on the Dole all about canine owners on benefits.

Leash said about that the better.

But I am still recovering from Stop! Roadworks Ahead.

What next? A look at the council’s painting and decorating team called Watching Paint Dry?

Peter Grant