I NEED "counselling" thanks to an ongoing series of tedious television programmes that are a right switch-off.

The BBC is being watched closely by the government culture vultures, and control of Channel 4 is uncertain, so you would think they would be trying to make a good impression with politicians and the viewing public.

Channel 5, however, seems to have become a government research tool.

One thing is certain television as we know it won't look the same by the end of this parliament in 2020.

We are living in austere times so it’s all Greek to me why television schedulers refuse to let us take our minds off our monetary woes.

Even though we as viewers have to tighten our belts, it shouldn't mean programme makers can offer us depressing documentaries that are made on the cheap.

BBC 1 has given us Call the Council – a fly-on-the wall look at the workings of Wigan Council. C4's output has included How Councils Blow Your Millions and How to Get a Council House.

Over on Channel 5 they came up with My Million Pound Council House. Council is clearly the buzz word in the lack-lustre TV think-tanks.

That other buzz theme "benefits" is here to stay on the small screen with such enticing fodder as Benefits by the Sea and Benefits: Too Fat to Work.

Television has a duty to educate and entertain. Please let's have more of the latter.

*

ONE of the YouTube hits of late was seeing Work and Pensions Supremo Iain Duncan Smith acting like a frenzied football fan when the chancellor announced that the country was getting a pay rise.

The “quiet man” was seen arm waving and shouting “get in” like Alan Partridge. IDS’s televised reaction was genuine.

Political commentators say only two people knew about the bombshell: George and his one nation friend at Number 10.

It seems the decision not to announce it was made in Chequers far from the madding crowd of Downing Street.

David and George are a very tight-knit team and with no Lib Dem coalition to dampen their spirits, they can do what they want. But do they let the rest of the cabinet know?

I just hope council "cabinets" across the country are using collective decisions when deciding on key issues such as closing libraries or merging schools.

Every voice around a cabinet table – whether in local or national politics – needs to be in the picture.

Hearing George Osborne announce his rabbits-out-of-the-hat speech to thunderous Commons cheers made for good television, especially when DC egged him to "tell them again ... because they haven't heard." 

Was he referring to the opposition or his own backbenchers and cabinet?

I hope Wirral Council leader Phil Davies manages to achieve all his recent pledges and that they are the product of collective decision-making. We are all in this together – aren’t we?

*

MERSEYSIDERS support their festivals and long may it continue following on from last week’s Love New Brighton parade to name one.

Now the Inferno can exclusively reveal that talks are underway for a home-grown attraction that will blow everyone away.

My mole tells me there may be a tribute to some literally high-flying Wirral wonders next year.

Wirral has an amazing history concerning those magnificent men in their flying machines going back to pre-First World War.

The Mersey played a prominent part in aviation, with beaches in New Brighton, and Egremont suddenly becoming landing strips – often to the bemused delight of sun-seeking day trippers.

Now, following the former success of the much missed Kite Festival, plans are afoot in the community to recreate kite versions of these innovative pioneering aircraft. Chocks away.

*

AND finally...What would the Dragons’ Den make of a "must have" household item had it been pitched to them – the unique vacuum cleaner with 24-carat gold-plating.

Ideal for red carpets, yacht decks and stretch limousines. Only 100 have been made, retailing at £800,000.

I can hear Deborah Meaden now: "You won’t clean up with this."

MORE: