AND so, in the aftermath of a televised media bloodbath of an election, I switched off from politics and wanted some light entertainment that didn't involve Ant and Dec.

I switched over and watched Last of the Summer Whine … It featured three lost leaders aimlessly wandering the hills of Britain and our green and unpleasant political landscape.

I sat weary-eyed as self-opinionated out-of-touch dinosaurs droned on about their pensions, moaning in what used to be Norah Battenburg's greasy spoon café.

It's now a shared post office and food bank (a charity shop at weekends).

Cleggy, Milo and Forage out-bored each other with mundane anecdotes while canned laughter, culled from a clearly medicated studio audience, sent me off to sleep.

I awoke to hear the theme music and the tiresome trio talking about what might have been – the plot development going nowhere – just like these three stooges.

Milo at his wit's end, Cloggy thinking of becoming a mature student if only he could afford the student fees and Forage wanting to come out of retirement.

I then tuned into Pad's Army – a tale of Britain’s Home Guard.

Pompous Captain Mainwairing, played by Paddy Ashdown, was seen eating his regimental hat after losing a battle, while Fraser (Alastair Campbell) shouted "we're all doomed" as he tucked into his kilt.

Ed Balls as Private Walker got his marching orders when he finally ran out of tricks up his sleeve. Corporal Jones, a convincing Vince Cable, came stumbling in shouting: "Don't Panic!"

Sergeant Wilson (Simon Hughes) pointed out: "You're too late, Jonesy," before sacking Private Pike (Danny Alexander) – made redundant with the words "you stupid boy". Cue the theme tune Who do you think you are kidding, Mr UKipper?

Finally, there was a satirical quiz Who's Sorry Now? featuring the same smug comedians including tax-dodging Jimmy Carr and national treasure Stephen Fry.

I have decided after such goggle-boxing to set up my own channel – UK Mould – ideal for easily-pleased viewers who seemingly love nothing more than watching repeats.

**

MY JOB as a television editor took me across the world on location – even to Runcorn.

I once went on set to see the making of the sit-com Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps.

I met a stunning actress called Sheridan Smith.

I knew she was made for better things.

She has proved that with a Bafta nominated role in Cilla – filmed on both sides of the Mersey.

After her superb performance in The C Word, I believe Ms Smith will be up there with the likes of Meryl Streep.

In a world of soaring egos, I can honestly say Sheridan has her feet firmly on the ground – home-grown talent to celebrate.

**

AS A journalist, I sift through many ridiculous surveys produced by universities or public relations coverage.

The most banal concerned a report from researchers that said we can tell people’s personality traits by the way we eat our pizzas.

The incisive report revealed that if we start from the outer region of the pizza we are cautious.

If we go straight into the middle and work outwards we are full of bravado.

Apparently, if we add coleslaw and garlic bread, we are insecure.

Those who slice it up and eat it by hand are decision-makers who are not to be messed with. So there we have it.

Last week, after political HQs sent out for election-night pizzas for staff, many were left half eaten and dumped in waste bins as the exit polls were revealed. Food for thought, indeed.

**

AND finally...Errol Brown of Hot Chocolate always called me "My Mersey Man" whenever I interviewed this most self-effacing, charismatic singer of the 70s and 80s.

I once asked him how he achieved those high notes on You Sexy Thing.

He said straight away "tight trousers." 

Then he laughed. A laugh I will hear every time that golden voice appears on the radio and jukebox – no doubt about it.

Peter Grant