SINCE 1958 they have been doing it (ooh, Matron!).

Entertaining us all with a nod and a wink.

Over this Easter period ITV3 paid tribute to the Carry On film franchise.

The actors who played them remain household names – sadly, most have gone to that great film studio in the sky.

Watching these comedy classics, I wondered what happen if they were still here to make a Carry on Number 10 today. Who would play our key politicians?

Terry Scott always played pompous, know-it-all types so he would have made an ideal David Cameron.

Kenneth Williams would have fleshed out Ed Miliband (infamy, infamy – they’ve all got it in for me).

Hattie Jacques would fit nicely into Teresa May's leopard skin shoes and Jim Dale (still going strong) who made his trademark as an inept bumbler, would be a brilliant Nick Clegg.

As for Nigel Farage, sorted.

It has to be Sid James (cue Sid's famous laugh).

Joan Sims would have made a grand job of playing feisty Nicola Sturgeon.

For the supporting cast, how about Bernard Bresslaw as Iain Duncan Smith?

Bresslaw never said much but was quietly intimidating in a funny sort of way in the background.

Charles Hawtrey would have captured enigmatic Michael Gove.

And as for House of Commons Speaker – there would have been mayhem galore with Frankie Howerd in the hot seat as John Bercow ("Don't titter. Order! Order! Oh, please yourselves").

Alas, as one of the titles of the 31 films said, we must Carry On Regardless to the ballot box in 30 days time.

Voters will have the last laugh – allowing only one party to Carry On for the next five years – or will there be another crazy gang coalition? What a Carry On caper that would be.

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THUNDERBIRDS are No! I want my childhood back.

I grew up with classic TV shows such as Top Cat and Bilko.

So I was very disappointed when both were turned into flop films and ruined the memory of the originals. It felt like someone had gate-crashed my memory banks and wiped out all that '60s innocence.

Thunderbirds have returned but I wish they had stayed on Tracey Island. Gerry Anderson's mould-breaking series has been re-booted with no strings attached – just a lot of noise and a storyline that even Doctor Who fans would find baffling.

International Rescue is no longer FAB – just one-dimensional inhabitants of an elongated computer generated game.

Please bring us back the original series that worked on two for levels adults and children.

PS: Re-visiting TV classics is always risky.

But then there is Paddington the film.

It is a magical hit with all ages so much that marmalade sales have risen since its release.

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AND now for something nearly different.

Not a re-make but a welcome update.

A modern day version of Spitting Image starting next Wednesday for six weeks on ITV called Newzoids.

What better time to launch a topical satirical series than during an election run-in? Providing voices for the CGI enhanced 3D printed puppets, is Ormskirk’s Jon Culshaw.

I can't wait to see Boris Johnson because he looks like a puppet in real life. It will be such a relief from seeing politicians kissing babies, photo-posing in their casual gear on shopping trips and being interviewed in one of their kitchens.

I wonder if George "shop floor photo opportunity" Osborne has had his yellow helmet and jacket surgically removed yet?

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AND finally … Multi-millionaire comedian Griff 'I oppose Mansion Tax' Rhys Jones has landed another 'nice work if you can get it' travel documentary.

This one is called Slow Train Through Africa. Mr Jones, how about making this a permanent stop?

Property's quite reasonable there, I believe.

Peter Grant