Granty's Inferno: 'We need motivation inspiration'

We, in the UK, are becoming increasingly lack-lustre and risk-shy.

The Professional Academy research body was motivated enough to find out just how far we are losing the wherewithal and will.

Britons surveyed revealed they are just 'sitting' on ideas.

That reminds me, I must finish my book on Procrastination.

Half of those interviewed believed their ideas will make millions, but lack the finances to pursue their dreams and point out that they don't even know how to get investment – moral and monetary wise.

It's no surprise there is a long and winding waiting list for the inspirational Dragon's Den television programme.

The other half claim they are not 'brave enough' and don't have the time or 'get up and go.'

Denis O’Brien, a self-made billionaire, advises us that we should adopt a 'can do and will do' attitude in all we aim for in our stress-soaked lives.

"Be confident, brave and flexible," he says, "We need 'motivation inspiration." 

How many times did the American bright spark Thomas Edison's light bulb moments get switched off by the sceptics .. yet he stuck with it and lit up all our lives.

And JK Rowling could have published a book featuring just her rejection slips before Harry Potter finally took off.

But she always believed in magic.

Maybe a good start is bringing back TV's Mr Motivator to start each day. Or create a Minister for Motivation.

There is, however, good news on the global motivator-o-meter and from highly unlikely sources as seen yesterday.

President Donald Trump and Chairman Kim Jung–un ceased swapping insults and verbal fisticuffs.

We now have another man-made news term, 'Instant diplomacy' which described the dynamic duo's short choreographed Singapore love-in.

Former reality show star and Nobel Peace prize-seeker Trump is now motivated to make a difference on the world stage.

Let's hope it's not just another cynical choreographed photo opportunity.

Have you ever known Donald duck the limelight?

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I WISH we could all get more motivated about Brexit.

There are now certain phrases that cause word 'blindness'.

We hear them so much they dissolve like Alka-Seltzer into our consciousness.

I don't remember hearing the word 'Brinto' when we first entered the EU - but since then we have been battered and bombarded by Brexit.

The BBC's tongue-in- cheek current political advert sees various folk using Brexit in everyday chat: a woman asking for a packet of Brexit and a train destination featuring one stop called Brexit.

I urge MPs to call a truce in the battle between Remainers and the Brexiteers.

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KICK OFF-ski ... Hopefully, it’s football from Russia with love.

I recall watching my first ever World Cup in 1966 in more innocent times when some games took place at Goodison Park.

They would open the gates before the end for youngsters like me to see the spectacle for free.

I went to school with a real 'claim-to-fame' moment.

When a ball had landed in the Gwladys Street End, I threw it back to German legend Franz Beckenbauer.

And I saw Portugal's star Eusebio quenching his thirst from a hot water bottle.

True!

I also sported the strangest haircut.

No one could understand why I looked like an early Mohican after a visit to the barbers. I did wonder why it took 90 minutes.

My mum took me back to the salon and gave the Italian hairdresser a red card and demanded extra-time.

It seems this 'shearer' was running in and out to his back room between scissor cuts to catch his beloved Italian national team in a live match.

He didn't take his eye off the ball - just my head.

At least I got a re-match for my thatch.

Result.

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I AM motivated to write to the Halifax Building Society.

Stop messing with my movie memories yet again.

You have already used The Flintstones and Top Cat to sell your mortgages.

Why do you insist in shredding my halcyon dreams?

It is the last straw using the Scarecrow and Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz to sell financial services.

Here is a plea: do not tamper with any more classics.

I would be in tears if you mugged any scenes from my all- time festive favourite - It's A Wonderful Life.

Cut!

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HALO, Halo, Halo ... what have we here?

Les Dennis was fascinated to hear that St Catejan, who inspired the latest play The Miracle of Great Homer Street at the Royal Court, actually existed.

He is patron saint of gambling, the unemployed and Argentina.

So Catejan wall have his work cut out this summer.

But I have heavenly news for our Les.

There is a St Denis. He is the job-share patron saint of syphilis and ... Paris.

This celestial celebrity also has another claim to fame.

Legend has it that after he was beheaded, St Denis walked for quite a distance carrying his own head.

Holy motivation ... I feel a play coming on.

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And finally ...

Attention ... The Royal Mail is honouring Dad's Army with a set of commemorative stamps featuring key characters and their catchphrases.

I feel this motivational idea could be re-cycled.

'Don't Panic' and 'We're Doomed' would be ideal captions alongside mug shots of our current Number 10 Cabinet.

Peter Grant