I AM still recovering from a culture shock.

St Helens is to be the first Liverpool City region 'borough of culture.' 

How did that happen?

First, let me congratulate St Helens to rule out any calls of sour grapes.

I am just bemused by this 'honour' from out of the blue and the powers that be.

I applaud Metro Mayor Steve Rotheram's commitment to culture pledging one per cent of the £30million devolution fund.

Yet I don't recall a competition or a tender for the title.

This column prides itself on being a culture vulture - giving credit where its due and vice versa.

Liverpool is rightly marking ten years since it received European Capital of Culture in 2008.

It is a legacy to be proud of as it will be the only UK city ever to win it now that we are out of the European Union.

I reported on the 2008 events and sang the praises of all the home-grown celebrities including the then un-knighted Sir Ringo and Sir Ken Dodd who contributed home-grown showcases.

And listened to those who felt they were left out of the party. Since then Phil Redmond has inspired the UK’s City of Culture with Hull handing over the creative baton to Coventry.

Now comes 'borough of culture' but I ask is there any real need for it?

There are six boroughs in the Liverpool City Region marriage why highlight just one?

As Liverpool, Wirral, Sefton, Knowsley, Halton and St Helens work on their own year-long projects I feel the title should be awarded at the end of 2018.

I would have liked to have seen the £200k used to create a 'culture ambassador' for each borough so that we can all work together as one - highlighting the fact that the entire, collective Liverpool City Region is a Northern ‘power house’ of creativity.

For now I raise a glass to that capital of glass - St Helens for reaching 150 years of age an achievement in its own right.

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ROLL the credits.

Wirral's Lucy Sibbick is 'made up' - that's an apt Merseyside phrase that best describes being happy about a situation.

Lucy was one of the three-strong team who worked on the make-up for Oscar winning film Darkest Hour.

Lucy worked on Gary Oldman's stunning transformation into Winston Churchill. Former Hollyoaks and Game of Thrones artist Lucy would spend up to 15 hours turning Gary into an old man.

Lucy who returns to West Wirral when she can to see family would make a great inspiration for a careers talk. So well done Lucy - another name for the Wirral Culture catalogue I am compiling.

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AMERICAN superstars queue up to have lucrative commercial breaks in the UK.

Sylvester Stallone made dough selling bread while Kevin Bacon makes texting sexy promoting mobile network.

Now Owen Wilson is promoting comfy chairs – sofa so good.

Until you realise that from the land of fake news he brings fake quotes.

A smug Owen tells us that Shakespeare said: "people usually are the happiest at home." 

The bard never said it.

Forsooth.

Out damn copywriter.

Why don't they stick to real quotes such as Billy Connolly's heart-warming take: "Home is where the mortgage is .... "

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HANDS UP - how many of us had a dream job at school?

I remember the excitement when we had a train driver come in as a motivator during a careers seminar.

My child hood TV watching included the heroic Casey Jones.

Our visiting driver could have recruited all of us there and then with his whistle-blowing tales of the life on the tracks. Alas, that dream job passed so many of us by.

This week I heard a Cheshire attraction is seeking 'resident train drivers' for a new seasonal outdoor role.

There are great benefits included but the one that sold it for me came with the best ever perk - a free ice cream at the end of each shift ...

When it comes to job satisfaction that takes some licking.

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SAY 'CHEESE'.

I once recall Mike McCartney snapping a photo of his kid brother Paul adding with a smile: "I can't wait to see it when we get it back from the chemist's."

He was joking, of course.

Yet it seems new technology with cameras on our mobiles has stripped the fun out of taking photos - especially on holiday.

Now picturesque views take second place to selfies. A report from Kayak, a search engine, says that youngsters take nearly 20 self portraits a day on a trip.

While holidaymakers take over 350 during a week-long break. Sadly, sales of photo albums have now plummeted.

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LOOK out for pranksters on Sunday – it's April Fool's Day.

I remember one memorable practical joke.

I was the villain.

And to this day I regret it.

In the late '90s I worked in a city centre office block where there was only two toilets. One on the ground floor and the other on the fifth where I worked.

Like an over-grown Denis the Menace, I put a sign on both the lavatory doors saying 'Out of order'.

I watched all day as people trudged down flights of stairs.

But now I have nightmares every time I see an 'out of order' sign.

Guilt.

So for those who never knew I did it, I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

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And finally ...

Political propaganda is dropping through my letter box ahead of the local elections.

Here's a wise thought from my Penguin Book of Jokes.

"In elections when all is said and done ... a lot more is said than done." 

Hear hear.

Peter Grant