I CAN’T stop humming the song Going Loco Down in Acapulco.

Like many commuters I will be changing the lyrics to "Growing Loopy in Wirral" from January to June of 2017 while our train services hit the buffers.

It's worth reminding readers what is about to happen in the New Year.

From Tuesday, January 3, until Sunday, February 12, there will be no trains at all between Wirral and Liverpool.

Wirral Line trains will all terminate at Birkenhead North or Birkenhead Central.

From Monday, February 13, to Monday, May 29, Wirral trains will run as far as James Street on weekdays.

The rest of the loop stations will be closed.

At weekends there will be no cross-river services and trains will again terminate in Birkenhead.

The third and final phase of the scheme - from Tuesday, May 30, to Sunday, June 18 - will again see no trains at all between Liverpool and Wirral.

Dear me.

But this week rail and business bosses agreed "we are all in it together."

Alas, once the Xmas hangovers are over we return to work in January to take part in a rail reality show.

We know the Loop Line overhaul is essential, but we must not be kept in the dark.

Keep us all on track with information - 24/7.

The reason I am so animated is that I have just read the small-print that some services are going half-hourly.

My train of thought is this - READ the small-print in every single Merseyrail information leaflet that is dished out.

The local economy - and our collective sanity - will suffer if we are not kept completely in the loop.

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JUST like buses you wait for ages for one then a whole fleet comes along.

Tomorrow is December 1 and the countdown for Christmas begins for real.

Doors open on advent calendars everywhere.

And what better way to celebrate the start of Christmas than the 13th annual Santa Dash this Sunday?

This is a time when Liverpool and Wirral really do come together.

An idea that I hope will run and run (ahem).

It’s always a festive feel-good scenario seeing Santas - young and old running for local charities.

I have a great memory of being the only person one year not dressed as a "Santa" on a New Brighton-to-Liverpool train.

There was even a dog dressed in red and white.

Some in red, others in Everton blue – the white bits represent Tranmere.

Full credit to BTR in Hoylake for their organisational skills.

But there’s also the West Kirby Dash also on December 4 and the informal Port Sunlight Dash too on December 18.

Happily, Wirral becomes a winter-wonderland to help raise all our spirits and raise money for good causes.

Time, I think, to get my own Claus out.

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MICHAEL Parkinson is the UK’s legendary interviewer.

I once met Parky in London at a BBC TV seasonal launch.

It was an enjoyable experience sitting opposite the great man who had been in my living room - on the telly for years.

He told me that one day he would publish the story behind his famous chats with Muhammed Ali.

Now he has written it and it is bound to be this year’s knockout stocking-filler.

But throughout our chat I got the feeling he was interviewing me.

For me, one of the great broadcasting interrogators is John Humphrys who makes Mastermind so compulsive and is a star of the flagship BBC Today programme.

I was once interviewed by Mr Humphrys on Today at 7am taking about Iain Duncan Smith’s "An Audience With" flop show visit to Liverpool’s Philharmonic Hall - playing to just 75 people.

Mr H laughed out loud and later told me we all need humour in life – that’s how he puts people at ease.

Dear John has now been mentioned as a successor to David Dimbleby when he eventually departs Question Time.

I’ve started so I’ll finish...Mr H gets my vote rather than Jeremy Paxman, the humourless axeman.

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ONE politician who always leaves his mark on Question Time is Paul Nuttall who has been given an early Christmas/birthday present.

Paul, North West MEP, is 40 today and what better way to celebrate than becoming leader of UKIP.

Bootle-born Mr Nuttall is certainly media-savvy and has been known to respond to the odd opinion in this very column.

Having seen him dominate the media this week, I have come to the conclusion that if ever the satirical Comic Strip write a spoof comedy of the rise and fall and rise of UKIP, there is an ideal actor to play Paul – in the politically-correct form of bespectacled look-a-like Ade Edmondson.

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AND finally...Santa’s grotto is now at Liverpool Town Hall.

Wirral Council have beaten them to it.

They have had a grotto in operation all year round - and not a Santa suit in sight.

Peter Grant