READ all about it ... the boffins of Oxford continue to add new words to our hallowed English language.

The Inferno is a big fan of the very readable website oxfordictionaries.com which keeps us all updated on how our collective phraseology is developing.

"Binge drinking" is now in, but you won't find "political transparency" or "political dyslexia."

They should be included after all politicians read reports and surveys from their researchers but seemingly don't understand them.

They have word and number blindness.

Just look at the mess over tax credits which the Chancellor is going to try to fix today in his much-feared, cut and slashing, council bashing Autumn budget.

Many MPs also develop "political deafness." 

Evasive politicians weave out a reply - not an answer - when confronted by public and media.

There are plenty more phrases to add to the website - "political camouflage" when we don’t see something coming.

It seems that abbreviations are as popular as ever, due to social media.

FoI stands for Freedom of Information which isn’t getting much support from the Government, who want to make it more difficult for us to access data (Laugh Out Loud here).

I find myself consistently using one abbreviation more and more. It certainly applies to politicians – FYI ... For Your Information we put YOU in office and WE can also put you out.

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SWEET dreams are made of this: Wanted - a chief taster for a new sweet factory.

And I have the experience. In the '90s I was invited to Strasbourg for a European referendum of sorts.

I was given a newspaper assignment to visit a global sweet company’s HQ to help choose a new range of chocolate lolly ices in a competition.

Now I am sending out my CV to Mackie's Sweets in Aberdeen for a year-long role.

A Ms McNutt, head of development, will supply monthly chocolates to the successful candidate to: "taste, lick and suck at home on the couch." 

If I get he job I wonder how much I will have to pay them?

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PRODUCT placement is rife in Hollywood - a cynical ploy where items are scattered through scenes plugging everything from cars to watches.

The latest James Bond film Spectre is like watching the movie version of the Argos catalogue.

This year on our smaller screens we have seen an influx of American superstars promoting everything from mobile phones to insurance.

Kevin Bacon, Arnie Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone have gone all commercial.

But the advert that takes the biscuit (so to speak) is from The Muppets who are advertising gigantic crumpets – the John Lewis promo is toast compared to this piece of puppet mastery.

TALKING of adverts, I was reminded of one of my all time favourites this week.

It featured a delightful old gent called JR Hartley who goes from bookshop to bookshop searching for his tome, Fly Fishing.

Eventually by flicking through Yellow Pages his daughter discovers a store that has it.

It made a star of actor Norman Lumsden who found fame through this concept.

Fly Fishing came out for real – literally.

Which brings me from fiction to fact. At the monthly Wirral book fair a lady in her 80s was perusing the "Vintage Children's Section" when she discovered a book called The Fairies Taught Me How to Read.

There must have been fairy dust around New Brighton Pavilion because she held in her hand that very same book – complete with her name handwritten on the cover – a book she had owned 74 years previously.

Now back in her hands, it will be a family heirloom for years to come.

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AND finally ... now for the weather.

As the Met Office won’t be supplying the BBC with reports in the future, local stations have been asking listeners to provide their own forecasts. The Inferno has now started its own service.

On Sunday I offered my debut report to BBC Radio Merseyside: "Tomorrow will be Muggy, followed by Toogy, Weggy, Thurgy" - well, if they can’t take it seriously why should we?

Peter Grant