Unfortunately I am not a call girl or stripper, if I was I would probably have a bankruptcy notice served on me. The punters would want me to pay them and that would probably mean another court case from all the people who would want to sue me for misinformation etc I can just see the advert in the paper or wherever one would normally advertise these things.. "Beautiful blonde slender stripper or model ?" To anyone who knows me I am quite the opposite therefore I would be sued in an instant. Oh well, I will have to continue with my writing until I either get bored or become famous.
Anyway, the title for this piece of text seemed quite apt to me. You see I was in the supermarket today and I spotted a book called the diary of a call girl, which I thought looked brilliant. I will get around to reading it when I am not writing, working or sleeping. This is the beginning of my diary as I seek fame and fortune as a writer. I am finding it very interesting pursuing my career as a writer. I try and put myself into situations, which I feel could enrich my experiences as a writer. I will pursue it all in the name of' (course), of broadening my writing vocabulary and ability. Its funny really, because how can you write about things that you have never experienced unless you have an extremely good imagination? Well, I must have a really awful imagination because I find myself wanting to try out new experiences in order to write about them and to fill my ideas and resources file. Any good writer or actor likes to immerse themselves in the life of their characters. Even J.K. Rowling has been seen in cafes in Edinburgh. It has been rumoured that she is writing a crime novel. Well, why go to Edinburgh I hear you say. When you can go to Liverpool and get beaten up as you walk home from a nightclub. Which is what has just recently happened to a friend of mine. I was in work one Sunday when I received a phonecall from my friend who had woken up in hospital that morning after walking home from a nightclub in Liverpool. So, you see we do not have to travel to bonny Scotland for crime and violence when we have it here on our very own doorstep. So crime aside, what else can I talk about in my new diary? I suppose I could talk about the book that I have been making a half-hearted effort to write in the last few years. It is about homelessness somewhere in the story. However, up until now I haven't had the courage to try out that particular experience. I have been writing about what it would be like to sleep on the streets when I have never even experienced it. So I decided before writing any more of that particular story I will fully research it and even have a stint of sleeping rough on the streets. Exciting prospects eh? I will either end up famous, dead or suffering severe frostbite. In order for me to pursue this particular experience I really need to try it out during the winter, which will give me new ideas and apprehensions of which to write.
Anyway what did I do today? Oh yes I checked my emails this morning when I awoke only to find that none of the publications has replied to me regarding articles I have sent to them. I console myself with a cup of coffee and some kind of Neanderthal gruntings that they will be clambering for my opinions and articles once I am a famous writer.
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My son came to visit me this afternoon and I was also lucky enough to have a visit from a family member who I do not see very often. I feel that as a society these days, we do not pay enough attention to our family and friends. I have read various articles, which recommend that the happiest people and those who suffer the least depression are those who see close family members and friends every day. Oh my god I hear everyone, exclaim. I am not suggesting that everyone should see their family and friends every day, it is only something I have read. Please don't quote me but look it up on the internet first before you hail me in a jet of flames. I am not Joan of Arc. I must admit I see at least one of my friends daily, that is probably the reason why I am so demented. I threw my much-needed guests out of my house at about 6:30 pm in order to have some kind of sleep or repose before going out to work an evening shift. On entering work I was greeted by happy faces (yes that was from the staff) and asked if I was bothered about when I worked over Christmas. Well of course I'm not, just give me New Year's Eve off and I will be happy as a pig in muck. I really believe that parents should be with their children and families at Christmas. My son has grown up and has been torn between his doting parents for years. So, this year I thought he could have Christmas Roastie-type lunch with his father and have his buffet supper or high tea with me. I would much rather work Christmas Eve and part of Christmas day so that the other parents I work with can have Christmas morning with their kids. Which is where all good parents, in my eyes, should be. Christmas is for children and as long as I get the "grown up's" day off which is New Year's Eve, well as I said earlier I will be quite jovial I am sure!
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Sonja Lewis is an ex teacher who now works with older service-users in sheltered housing.
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